Sunday, April 28, 2013

Cheers To Changes!

Starting a sister-blog was something we have been wanting to do for a while.

Possibly something I had started talking with Kel about when I still lived at home, and realized that my sister and I had grown apart, therefore I was looking for a way to connect and stay in touch with her.  After all, you sow what you reap.  Or some kitschy cliche like that, that basically means to have a friend, be a friend; if I wanted us to live up to the full potential of the sisterly o&o* bond I knew we shared, we would need dedication.  While I am obviously biased, we have one of the closest, unique and evolved [sister] relationships, and one for which I am the most proud of to date.  Now do not let your mind go there.  When I say 'evolved', I mean we have grown beyond and above the petty hierarchical/power-hungry, competitive sibling dynamic b.s., and not that we have evolved to become anything more than platonic sister-bestfriend-roomies. It makes sense, because we also have cousins on both sides of the family who are also best friend-sisters-once-roomies, so it runs deep in our family to prioritize, befriend, celebrate, & come to depend on your sibling. Through the decades, much like any other mortal, Kelly and I have worked through a multitude of triumphs and losses: shared school-years (elementary, high school, university); volleyball days when she would chase me around the gym; the furthered development of a freeway disrupting and uprooting our childhood neighborhood; rushing the same sorority hand-in-hand.....And with countless memories in between and afterwards......many years we later found ourselves young business professionals enmeshed too far in our own lives to be integrated into each other's more than anything sporadic and infrequent.  That had to change.   And it did with time, maturity, and investment in bettering our o&o sister relationship.   

And so it went the old adage we have all come to memorize, "The only thing inevitable in life is change."  Change we both did.  We evolved.  We adapted.  She morphed into the beautiful butterfly that she truly always was, shedding her old self (without going too much into that, I will save the details for her to elaborate upon in a future post).   And I became liberated; I recommitted to myself and took back something I had been longing for for a long time, yet in my comfort (don't EVER get comfortable & stop challenging yourself!!) I had lost site of my true desires and dreams, having  had settled for what I thought I wanted for myself yet had forgotten how much I thrived on and had not yet completed developing: me, myself, my personal development, not to mention my singledom, my independence.  I had been in a long-term relationship for the better part of 5.5 years and was struggling for too long with what I wanted and what I thought I wanted for my life. And perhaps I should have sought therapy somewhere in-between, but I made it to the surface somewhat unscathed and boy have I missed the air up here!  While I have made it seem so externally, it has not been an easy process emotionally, physically, or mentally (but faithfully & spiritually this led me onward and upward), as leaving my ex and his family of friends was like getting jumped OUT of a gang, but I prayed and found strength to make the most difficult decision I had made in 29 years, because I knew that is what I had to do for the best for all parties.  The easiest decisions in life rarely have any emotions tied to them.  I digress.......  But what I really want to end this stanza on is that through our changes, we drew closer in support; we both became seemingly stifled and then somewhat bored with the lives that had consumed us and we sought out something better.  Something more.  We stood up, grew up, raised our standards, and hand-in-hand, we moved on towards the light.

Just like attending college together at Cal Poly Pomona brought us closer, so did my moving out and becoming a responsible, independent adult.  My first move out to Santa Monica proved to Kel that I could function on my own.  The next chapter up in Santa Barbara showed her that I actually THRIVED on my own, as I was living completely on my own without any familiar faces in the community to level with.  That year I finally blossomed.  200+ miles from 'home', I had only myself to count on, and I grew to enjoy that reliance upon myself, that complete and utter solitude and serenity.  I had only me, myself, & I, and I lapped it up.  I could not get enough.  Alas, that year of my life passed quicker than any other, and before I knew it, I was being called in another direction, to return home for a great trifecta of opportunities that I simply could not resist.  This new opportunity would make it possible for me to live with my sister, my best friend, the only one in life (besides God) that I did not have to explain myself to.  I had been wanting to live with Kel for the better part of a decade if not fantasized about it for most of my life.  Finally we had our chance!  I took the position and moved from 'a little slice of Heaven' in SB, down to Pasadena, where Kel and I added roomies to our experience.  And so we have been blissfully (I don't know if blissful is the right adjective here), and complementarily cohabitating for seven months.  If only we could set up a video camera to capture all the unbeweavable randomness.  The cloud is not big enough..........

Needless to say (so why even say it, Megan?!), the sister-blog has been a long time coming.  Hell, we are not going to go the sister-wives route, so this will be a way to share and memorialize our adventures as sisters-besties/o&os*/roomies - as we move cross-country/continent/cultures.  Oh yessssssssssss, the move.  Well, you first learned of this in Kel's previous post, but I reference such because this is the impetus, this what gave us the ammo to finally start this beast!  'Beast' because I know by the time Kel & I close this blog-chapter (if EVER?!), this blog will be a BEAST. Behemoth. Gigante. BĂȘte.  An archive of all the crazy, challenging, unprecedented, strengthening antics/experiences/memories we have and will continue to create together.  So stay tuned.  Buckle up, grab a craft beer, some hummus & pita chips, & get read for the ride ahead.  Because we know there will be a ride.  No one said this was going to be easy.  But what worth it in life is easy?  What value do we get out of what is given to us, what is easy, what is comfortable?  At what point in the rat race do we grow?  When things CHANGE.  Because change evokes growth, personal development, new connections and networking, new experiences and color to life, new ENERGY.  Take note of the CAPPED words through my adventure of sister-blogging, because I will call out, if not tell a fun story through these words.  =)  And with that, goodnight and good luck.  In life and all that you do.  Make sure you give it your all and take advantage of the awesome opportunities life hands you from time to time.  Go out on a limb and take an adventure.  You will never regret failure.  You will only regret the missed opportunity.  You only have today and this moment.  Seek the unknown.  Or spend the rest of your life wondering "what if", and exclaiming "should have, could have, would have".

Cheers to changes!

XO Peace and LOVE. XO

*o&o = one & only (it's our sister-petname-acronym, as designed by meself. =)

Thursday, April 25, 2013

Everything is coming together

Megan lost her phone a few months ago. 

She is notorious for being bad about charging her phone, or not having it on her person during important times (like the time when we had a flight going to Canada leaving at 11pm from LAX, it was 5pm and I hadn't packed and was locked outside of our condo complex and she wasn't answering her phone because it was on silent.  I tried calling her name out at first, but there was a gentleman in the third floor corner condo on his balcony that thought it was funny whenever I yelled "MEGAN!" to respond in kind and yell out "MEGAN!"  I'm not sure what his deal was, but the mascara tube I found in my purse was sufficient enough to make noise without breaking/chipping the window and Megan finally came to the window with an angry face but mine was more angry so she walked her happy butt downstairs and let me in.)

A very nice lady found Megan's phone lodged in some ferns along the path that Meg takes Harper on her morning walk.  Thankfully, this lady has a good heart and she emailed Megan and the phone was returned and Meg made a connection with this gal, Lisa.  Lisa happened to be a NY/LA bi coastal person and that was just a cool coincidence until we decided to up and move to New York.

Megan and I live in a bombtastic condo in Pasadena.  Three blocks east of Lake, two blocks south of Colorado, we have a 1400 square foot amazingly renovated 2br/2ba condo that we rent from a fantastic young couple.  The second hardest thing we have to do after telling our parents is telling our landlords that we're moving.  We agreed to a 23 month lease (ahem... Megan's idea but then again so was the PowerPoint that got us the place), and we're only about 8 months in.  We were contemplating this situation when Lisa, the phone finder, inquired about our building and if there were any available apartments there.  Turns out she is interested in a bigger, better place and our current apartment fits the bill.  Fingers crossed that our meeting with her next Monday turns out awesome.  Because what I'd really love to tell our landlords is that we have a great future tenant that wants to spend the next 3 years of her life here along with her teenage son and possibly her rich boyfriend as well?  So that is a good sign.

And then last night I posted on Facebook about our big move to NY.  We had great feedback from all of our friends and family (except our parents), and there was one of my friends that mentioned that he'd also be in NY.  This is a great man that I know through my exbf (who I'm still friends with - along with his fantastic fiance), and I inquired to find out a bit more.  Long story short, we might have ourselves a third roommate who probably makes more than both of us sisters combined.  He's a great guy, works as an editor in the TV industry, is a foodie and an outgoing person and is always a fun time to be around.  I'm happy to think that we have a good, strong, man that would be our roommate, because it makes me feel safe.  I know I'm a modern woman, but two young single gals in NY can be a lil scary, and I trust him to be that strong Y chromosome and mayyyyybe even keep us a lil sane.  Estrogen is crazy, y'all.

I'm just a bit worried about how he'll react to being around sisters and our constant silliness and braless-ness and our utter comfort with each other.  I mean we dance around like fools and talk about every single body issue and so that might have to change with a grown man around...

But I'm happy that he'll be in NY before us and will find a great place in a sweet neighborhood and I know it will be everything that we all want.  Plus, the only man I've lived with for real is my pops, and so it'll be good for me to get used to a man in the house.  Sorry, Rufus, you don't count because you're a cat and you got fixed as soon as was possible.

So.  A potential person to take over our current place, and a potential new roomie for our new place in NY.  I consider today an amazing day, everything considered.  Hopefully Meg feels the same!

Monday, April 22, 2013

The hardest part is through

Today we told our parents that we're moving to New York. 

That's right, my sister Megan and I (Kelly, for those of you who don't know me yet), had to tell our amazing, loving, wonderful, fantastic parents that their two daughters and their only two children are leaving the west coast in pursuit of our dreams and life.

That means we're leaving them.  Well, at least from their point of view... 

The thing is, I'm a 32 year old single lady who has never been married or had kids and I'm about 3 weeks into unemployment.  It's the first time in my life since I was 15 and a half and I got my worker's permit that I have not had a job.  Even in college I had at least a part-time job for spending money to hang out with my friends or so I could buy panties that my parents wouldn't approve of and/or buy for me.  I'm a foodie and a sports fan and a social butterfly and I have been bitten by the travel bug so why on EARTH have I not been to New York yet?!?!  But that's a story for another time...

My sister Megan is 2 years and 10 months (give or take) younger than me.  She's approximately the same height as me and we certainly came from the same parents, but other than that we claim to be completely different; physically, mentally, emotionally, romantically.  We grew up in the same environment but we have had different experiences.  Megan and I are best friends now, the closest friends you can be, because I was there from the very beginning - in fact, her birth is my first memory.

I'm the eldest.  The pathfinder.  The adventurous and headstrong one.  The leader of the pack (vroooom vrooooom!).  But now, Megan is leading the way.  The company she works for is relocating her to New York City and I'm going along as well.  Considering that the last 6.5 years of my life were spent in banking/finance, I am excited to find a new career in the financial capital of the world, NYC.  It's weird to think that I'm moving to a place that I have never been, a place where I don't have a job (yet), a place where I know few people and no idea of what neighborhoods are cool or lame or ghetto.  But I'm confident that I will love it there.  I also know that if I stay here in the comfort of what I know, southern California, that I will be regretful of not pursuing what the world has to offer.  And I know that Megan feels the same.  Our parents, however, are nervous, scared, and anxious for everything that the big bad world will throw at their girls.  They want to be near us when we get married and have babies.  Mom and Dad are close to retirement and are solidifying everything that they have planned so that they can live the rest of their years in comfort and have good medical care, and here their daughters are taking off across the country without any regard for their parents' happiness or joy.  But as I told our dear ole Daddy-O, this decision isn't about them.  It's about our lives, our careers, and what we need to do.

So join us, and get to know us as we tell our story and find ourselves and have great adventures in a place 3,000 miles from everything we know.  I'm not sure that New York is ready for the Hartman sisters, but we'll definitely find out!